Did you know that societies can be culturally color blind without being physically or biologically color blind? Some cultures do not have names for the colors that exist between the ROYGBIV spectrum. They do not have the language to classify maroon but can identify that maroon is not red or orange. Culturally color blind.
People know more than they can articulate.
The void that exists between knowing and articulation is often substituted with assumptions that can be articulated. Assumptions are not always negative or incorrect. Assumptions are shortcuts that help us sort through information faster. However, assumptions have inherent selfishness and bias within them.
Shifting this concept to the domain of youth soccer, I find that many problems that arise between parents and coaches exist because parents know more than they can articulate and the gap between their articulatable experience and assumptions trigger emotions, conflict, misunderstanding, lack of trust and usurpation of the child’s soccer experience.
I was in a situation recently where parents grew insecure of my involvement in a particular team. I became the scapegoat for decisions made by committee. I also became the scapegoat for their child’s performance.
I asked myself why these parents were so committed to stunting their child’s growth and development. The answer is simple. They view their son’s soccer career as a reflection of their worth in the soccer community. Therefore, the value of suffering, disappointment, struggle, winning, losing etc. is static and lacks developmental value to them…...” just put my kid on the A team”.
They are culturally color blind.
The pain and suffering that brought these particular parents’ success in their careers is no longer an acceptable tool for growth and maturation for their children.
Granted, because some parents know the value of suffering and not getting what they want personally, they associate being on the A team with being the most difficult and valuable environment for their child's development.
Yes and no
Soccer is simple, but very hard to coach. Soccer development has orders of magnitudes of nuance. One player needs this, another needs that. The problem in this situation is that the player and parents might not understand why the player needs “that”. Even if the parents understand, the emotional response to the thought of not being A team parent is troubling.
There is a concept called domain dependence. Domain dependence means that as humans, we tend to see things framed through our own experiences. And, as humans, we can’t experience many things in relation to the opportunities available to us.
“When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”.
What are the risks of domain dependence? One will either miss a growth opportunity or get blindsided more quickly than one can react to when change takes place.
Thanks for reading this.
Next: Virtue signaling